So just over two weeks ago I made a drastic life change that has greatly inhibited my proximity to good ramen. Among other things. I’ve tried hard to remain positive (read: denial) and not dwell on what I’ve given up or what I’m missing or what’s so different about NYC and TX. But today I’ve made a pros and cons list.

Just kidding.

It really is just apples and oranges. …and I just happen to really prefer oranges.

Joke #2.

But honestly, sincerely, it’s been good. I mean, for starters it’s been two whole weeks and I’ve only had one major breakdown. And that was a fluke. I mean, I’d been having a really bad, all-around lonely day when I found out my friends back in New York had gone apple picking. Can you do that in Houston? Probably, maybe, but also I THINK NOT! So when I went out that night I was a little less than peppy but the bf happened to ask “Oh, this is pretty fun, right?” And I just burst into tears. Insane, blubbering, embarrassing tears. He was shocked–probably petrified–but he’s also very smart, so he just gently asked me, “Oh, do you miss your friends?” I could barely nod my head as I began to wail “THEYWENTAPPLEPICKING!” As if this alone could explain the sudden breakdown.

And it does.

But I got over it. Past it. Through it. Whatever. This has been a wonderful move in a lot of ways and those ways are 1) tacos and 2) sunshine. But also I live by myself. I graduated to a queen size bed. I spend money as if I’m gainfully employed (spoiler alert: I’m not). And I filled up a kitchen full of knickknacks and gadgets to make me feel somehow at home.


I have a tall bookshelf full of books I actually have time to read. I smile every time I do a load of laundry. I lounge by the pool and I’ve already gotten a tan. I hung up too many pictures so that all my favorite memories of New York were present and accounted for.

But I also didn’t go beyond the property line.

There’s a car available to me but I’ve been holed up rather obsessively. Sometimes I think “oh I should do this” or “oh I should do that,” but instead I find other reasons to, well, not. I’m from New York after all. I believe in the power of home delivery. So even when I saw a cockroach (meltdown #2) and immediately decided I needed to buy all the roach killer this side of the Mississippi, I realized I didn’t really want to put on a bra so why not see if Amazon Prime Now works in this neighborhood?

Fun fact: it does.

But it’s been two weeks. Two weeks fairly alone and thus lonely. I’ve read a lot, written a lot, tanned a lot, worked out a lot, netflixed A LOT,  but socialized? I did not. So this weekend I decided to finally venture out into this place I’m calling home. And as anyone who knows me knows, the best way to lure me anywhere is with the promise of a great photo op.

New York had them in spades but, turns out, Houston does too. So a new friend took me on a mural tour. In a car, no less (so convenient). We would zip from place to place, parking right in front of the mural to grab a picture, then on to the next.

There was a moment there traipsing about town where I thought “hmm, maybe with all this free time I could become a lifestyle ‘grammer.” And then this happened:

Like, literally, what is this? What am I trying to do?

So while I may love pictures and I may pretend to know my angles, I am also one uncoordinated MOFO with the “deleted photos” folder to prove it. Which I’ve culled for these few, least offensive gems:

So consider this my first and last post as a lifestyle blogger. Turns out I have neither the wardrobe nor the physical awareness to compete with the Kylie Jenner’s of the world. But even so! It was fun to be outside for once exploring different parts of the city. And, no, I didn’t bring an outfit change. I just had so much fun Friday that I dragged the bf for another round Saturday. And while 99.9% of my photos were less than ideal, they were, as Kelly Clarkson would describe it, a beautiful disaster. Like this one:


I don’t even know what I’m doing. But it’s definitely not working.

Still, here’s to new adventures full of new opportunities to embarrass myself in new ways. After all, this is how they made me, houston texas baby.


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